Ever since I left the corporate world, I’ve been trying to redefine what it means to be successful. It is very hard to figure out what success means when you do not have a pre-constructed path ahead of you. You can’t necessarily say success is getting promoted or becoming Partner.

One of my values has always been living a well-rounded lifestyle. I want to experience success not just in my career but in my relationships and with my family. This was one of my primary issues with dedicating so much time to working a corporate job. I thought it was nearly impossible for me at the time to develop into a well-rounded person.

In 2018, I have worked on a new vision of what it means to be successful. I’ve done so by considering what success means to me in several areas of my life.

For me success overall means:

  • Autonomy over my schedule
  • Financial freedom
  • More time with my family
  • Positive impact on the world
  • Meaningful relationships

 

Success in family life means:

  • More quality moments
  • Expressing love so that everyone feels appreciated and cared for
  • Creating a unique bond/relationship

 

Success in friendship means:

  • Having multiple friends to turn to in good times and in bad
  • Having friends around who inspire and challenge me to be a better person
  • Loyalty

 

Success in a relationships means:

  • Finding a person who I admire
  • Positive feelings of love, admiration, adoration are reciprocated
  • Great communication
  • Spending quality time with each other

 

Success at work is:

  • Working for a cause that I am passionate about
  • Impacting the world or changing the world for the better
  • Impacting or changing individuals for the better

 

Why is redefining success important?

Redefining success is important because there are a lot of visions of success that we inherit from our society, culture, parents and peers. For example, in American society, money and power is highly valued. The more money you make the better. It seems that a lot of Americans are infatuated with fancy cars and beautiful million-dollar homes. Glamour is all the rage and so is being in prestigious positions of power.

There is nothing wrong with these visions of success. But it is important to determine whether these societal definitions fit your values and what is important to you. Some people don’t care as much about money as they care about flexibility in their schedules for instance. Some people wouldn’t mind working for very little money if it means their job involves traveling to different countries all year round. The point is we are all individuals and we all have different priorities.

My biggest wake up call was realizing that I didn’t necessarily want the same lifestyle that my senior leaders had. Sure, they made great salaries and had very prestigious jobs, but ultimately, I could also see that time was very scarce for them. More importantly, it appeared as though they didn’t have much power or control over how they spent their time because so much time was required of them to fulfill their job responsibilities. They had to sacrifice a lot of family time and it seemed to bring them a lot of guilt and anxiety. I knew I didn’t want this to be my life down the road. I knew I wanted to have more control over how I spent my time and that I didn’t want to sacrifice my time with family.

Another common pitfall when it comes to defining success is relying on our parents definitions. We’ve all either experienced this or know people who have experienced this at some point or another in their lives. Some of us find ourselves following career paths based entirely on what our parents want for us. For some of us that could be following our fathers steps in the military or becoming a lawyer, doctor or accountant. It could be anything. It is natural to look to your parents and want to be lead. We know they mean well and they want us to be happy. But following what our parents want for us can lead us to be resentful if those paths become unfulfilling.

I encourage everyone to define success for themselves. You don’t want to find yourself climbing the corporate ladder or heading down a particular path only to realize you are unhappy after investing so much time. Think about what truly excites you and satisfies YOU.  Think beyond the standard vision. What is your vision for your lifestyle if you can create it from scratch? If you had a million dollars in the bank, how would you spend your time? When we break success down into smaller concepts it doesn’t feel as impossible as we initially imagined. Happiness no longer feels as fleeting.